Courtship and Dating Chinese Girls

Dating Chinese girls is entirely different from the western culture. To avoid misunderstandings and awkward situations, it is better to appreciate and understand the Chinese dating etiquette and their views on relationships and sex.

Understanding Chinese dating beliefs

Besides the first tier cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Guandong, China is still an agricultural country where most of Chinese women in China come from relatively poor families and the countryside. Because of Chinese tradition preference for male babies, the sex ratio between male and female are lopsided. There are more male babies born than female babies.

For many Chinese girls, these means that they have to compete for Chinese men in China if they are not pretty enough. Some of Chinese girls even contemplate to pursue foreign men as an attractive proposition.


There is saying that is repeated among Chinese parents to their children in poor rural countryside:  “marrying a poor foreigner is always better than marrying a rich Chinese”. The reason is that when a Chinese man gets rich, he will tend to seek mistresses (xiao san) thus affecting the marriage and neglecting his wife.

Common Chinese dating practices

Casual dating is non-existent in China so avoid these kind behavior as most of Chinese girls simply do not understand or feel comfortable with the Western concept of serial dating. Chinese girls might misunderstand and even view men who serial date as a womanizer.

The dating process is often filled with intelligence reports from their circle of friends. Therefore if a Chinese girl is attracted to a particular male friend or colleague, her friends will inform her with his age, educational level, earning potential, overall personality, temperament and his ability to provide for her and her family.

Chinese women group dating

If a Chinese man or woman is interested in someone, a mutual friend will arrange a dinner with a group of six to eight people. Another situation is where a mutual friend decides to play matchmaker between two friends or colleagues.

The two interested or intended parties will not be seated side by side but separated by at least two to three other people. This allows them to be close enough to communicate with each other to determine their personality in the social setting.

During this “qualifying-stage” dinner, mutual friends will direct the conversation towards topics such as current occupation, educational and relationship history, children, family background, present living arrangements, etc that allow the Chinese man or woman to qualify each other as potential dating partner.

This social arrangement makes it very convenient for each party to save face if one of the party is not interested thus saving undue embarrassment. “Saving face” is very important in Chinese social culture.

If there is mutual interest between the two parties, Chinese woman will be more obvious  in terms of eye contact, facial expressions, the number and types of questions that were asked of each other.

After a group meeting, if a Chinese girl agrees to go out with the man then it will be the first date, she is formally acknowledging this man as a viable candidate for marriage.

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1 Comment so far

  1. Asian Single Dating on March 19th, 2012

    I think your site is really helpful. I have gone through it’s details and just enjoyed it. Thanks a lot.

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